


Midnight

by DixieDale



Category: Clan O'Donnell - Fandom, Garrison's Gorillas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 15:17:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14897009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DixieDale/pseuds/DixieDale
Summary: It's midnight, the darkness is complete with the blackout shades firmly in place.  The air is chill and damp, and musings and wistful thoughts tease at the mind while it waits for the oblivion that sleep will bring.What goes through their minds tonight?  Let's listen in for just a bit.  Listen to Sergeant Major Gil Rawlins, Chief, Goniff, Actor, Craig Garrison, Casino, and Meghada O'Donnell as they wait for that ever so elusive sleep to come.





	Midnight

SERGEANT MAJOR GIL RAWLINS:

This little room, this cot, the small chest in the corner; this is w'at I call 'ome for now. Seems like forever. Well, not the being 'ere; this is something that started only after they opened up the Mansion for the Lieutenant and his team. Still, just places where I can fit what bits and bobs I keep with me, someplace to rest and think, or sometimes NOT to think, when I'm not on duty; not a 'ome, not a place that's truly mine.

Sometimes I don't even remember w'at it was really like, life before I wore the uniform. Joined early, there not being much else available around at the time. Family was all gone by then, well, there'd only been my mum and dad and my older brother; I was a tail-end babe, born when my parents were well past when they'd even considered the possibility, them in their late fifties by then. I remember Jake, my brother, a good thirty years older than me, telling me 'ow embarrassing 'e'd found it, 'is mother walking around with 'er apron fastened 'igh like that. Jake - died in that round of bombings by Jerry - not this war, the one before, when they were zeppelins, not airplanes as such. Was just a youngster at the time; still don't know 'ow I managed to crawl out and 'e didn't. Took me 'ours to find 'im, still laying in 'is bed, looking real peaceful-like, that ceiling beam flat across 'is chest. 

Four years in the local orphanage, til I decided to take off on my own. Going 'ungry decided me on joining the army, and me being tall for my age let me get by with it; well, that and the one filling out the papers knew my brother, made a slip or two of 'is pen where age was concerned. It's not been a bad life, all told. This, what I'm doing at the Mansion, it's different than some posts I've 'ad, similar to others. Well, except for the men. They're not something I'd run into before, not to get to know. Odd, that - that they're so different than I thought they'd be. Somehow, they've become, well, almost like family, them and young Perkins and Jenkins, and the O'Donnell miss. 

In fact, they're probably all I'll ever 'ave as something of the sort, seeings the only woman I've thought about that I could see being more than someone casual, she's above me in station, quite a bit. Parson's sister and me? Can't see that 'appening. Course, in wartime, odd things can 'appen. Never thought I'd see someone like the O'Donnell miss and someone like Goniff making a match of it. Never thought I'd see someone like the Lieutenant . . . 

Rebecka, now that's a nice name. Not too common, not too fancy. Could 'ear myself saying that name over the breakfast dishes, across the tea table. Could almost see myself looking down at those dark blue eyes, 'er smiling that pretty smile of 'ers. Could almost imagine . . .

 

CHIEF:

Dont seem right, what we're doing, fighting, getting shot at, coming home all beat up. Dont seem right that, with all a that, this is the best my life has ever been. This feels like home, being here with them, the guys, the Warden. The people around here, they're starting to feel like home too, and Meghada and Ian and the rest of her family. Worries me some, me feelin like that, like I belong. Cause, more n'likely, that's gonna end real fast, just as soon as the war's over, or even before, either with us getting our heads shot off, or someone up at HQ finally figuring out a way to send us all back to the slam. 

I know Meghada says she has things in place to help if it happens, that last, I mean. Even she can't do much about it if we get blown up or something. And I know from what she and Goniff have talked about, they're trying to figure out something for after the war. Well, maybe they can, for the two a them, but for the rest of us? Not like they wouldn't try; they would, they're both just that way, but figuring something out for all a us, that won't be easy. Think the Warden's thinking about something like that too. Wouldn't mind that, us all stickin together; hell, cant think of anything I want more, just dont see me being that lucky. And besides, except for Actor, what skills we have? More'n likely just land us back inside, bringing Meghada and everyone else down with us. 

Anyhow, would anyone but me WANT to stay together. They've all got other places they could be. Casino, he probably wouldn't stay; he's got a real family to go back to. They're keeping him all caught up with everything going on; he writes them all the time. Can't see him wanting to stay; not that he doesn't care, just . . . Actor, to hear him tell it, there's dozens of places he could go, places where he's already set up. This place, Brandonshire, cant see someone like him settling here - he'll be headed for one of the big cities, one of those high-rolling places he fits in with better than any of the rest of us could. The Warden? He could go anywhere, do anything. He's got the style, the education; he could be anything, no reason for him to stick with us. Maybe he'll want to stick with Goniff and Meghada though, and if they find a place for the rest of us, then maybe . . . Maybe Actor and Casino would give it a try then, maybe. No, cant see Casino giving up that family of his; why would he want to give them up to stay here with us, with me. No, cant see that happening.

GONIFF:

Sleeping 'ere alone, usually in a narrow cot in the dorm with the other guys; that's pretty much the usual. Casino snores and so does Actor, though 'e says 'e don't. Chiefy, well, not so much, just when 'e's really beat. I've been told I make noises in my sleep; 'Gaida can make out words sometimes, but no one else ever 'as, that I know of anyways. I 'ave bad dreams, nightmares, but so do the rest of the guys, so they don't give me a lot of grief over them. Sometimes, I sleep on a blanket on the floor, or just the floor, or out on the grass, or in the back of a truck or wherever we end up on a mission when we 'ave time to take a break. As long as I'm with the guys, I don't mind that, well, not so much as I would if I were alone out there somewhere. I don't like to be alone; seems I've been alone most all my life, so I'm used to it, but I don't like it. I really 'ate being alone when there's people around; that's the worst, I think. Bad things can 'appen then, even worse than the being alone by yourself. You wouldn't think that's possible, but it is; I know that for a fact. Trust me.

Sometimes, afore I go to sleep, I think about where I'd rather be sleeping. I got lots of choices for that. Closest, though not possible, is down the 'all, with Craig in 'is bedroom, in 'is bed. We'd both like that, a lot, but it just ain't possible. Brass, they find out, they'd 'ave 'is 'ead, and mine, and it'd ruin everything for the guys, so I'm real careful that I never set foot in there if I can 'elp it; too easy for things to get outta 'and, if you know what I mean.

Furthest away is my Mum's place in New York; that ain't possible either right now, acourse, and I admit, I'd not want to be there for long, not without Craig, without Meghada, without the guys. They're my family now, too. The best place, well, that's down at the Cottage, in that wide bed of Meghada's. It's the best place for lots a reasons, one being it IS possible, at least sometimes. Another is that when I sleep there, I'm not alone. Sometimes it's with Meghada, sometimes it's with Craig, sometimes I got both of them with me. I can't say which is best; there is no best, it's just different. I never considered myself lucky, but I'm starting to think my luck 'as changed, especially when I'm there.

At the Cottage, I don't 'ave to think about who I'm supposed to be, pretend; 'Gaida calls it 'wearing a mask' and that's about right. There, once I'm through that garden gate, I can just stop thinking about all that, just breathe and be me. I'd almost forgot 'ow to do that. I spent most all me life being who someone else, everyone else wants me to be, expects me to be if they are gonna still want me around, to keep my secrets safe; it feels really strange to be where I'm wanted just for me, whatever mood I'm in, without any pretending. Strange.

If I could choose where I'd sleep, always sleep, it'd be there, in that wide bed, with those two that I love, who love me back, though I can't figure out why they would, why they do. Well, to think on it, maybe that IS best, when it's the three of us, with none of us wearing any masks, none at all. Yes, that's the best.

ACTOR:

Amien - Gina, Josephine  
Bordeaux - That was Margueritte, Louise, Maria  
Cannes - Julianna, Therese, oh, that tall, very tall blond with that little birthmark above her right hip, what was her name?  
Oh, well . . .  
Douai - Albertine, the one with the temper who threw things  
Echirroles - Leonie  
Franconville - Ines and Anais. I remember how I had to pretend to be slightly drunk when I mixed up their names in bed a time or two. Well, they were both blonds, really quite similar in many ways, it was an understandable error, I'd thought, though I knew they would not agree.

Actor had already gone through his mental list of the beautiful women he had known, biblically and otherwise, in Spain, earlier, with sleep no closer than before he'd begun. Now he had started on France. The rules were strict: cities or towns, one for each letter of the alphabet (as much as possible, considering the languages involved), at least one woman, preferably at least two for each place. Extra points if he remembered the color of their hair, even more if he could remember anything more. They were surprisingly similar, after all these years; sometimes the mental pictures he would dredge up, he would later realize were really a compilation of several different women. 

It rarely took him this long to fall asleep. Usually less than halfway through his first batch he would have drifted off. Tonight, for some reason, sleep wasn't coming easily. He listened to the noises around him - Casino's heavy though rather musical snoring, Chief's steady breathing interrupted occasionally with a sound almost like a low moan. He wondered if the young man would be having another one of his nightmares tonight; sometimes that sound preceded one of those, though not always. Goniff, those little mutterings, not quite words, but close; so close he could sometimes think he just might make out the meaning, though that hadn't happened yet. No sound from down the hall where Garrison slept; of course, that was too far for anything to carry unless their young Lieutenant had a really bad nightmare.

"Maledire!" he muttered under his breath. Why was sleep so far away tonight??!

His thoughts drifted to the future, after the war, and he resolutely pulled them back. There was no use going there; with what he and the team got up to, for them there could easily BE no 'after the war'. Other than making sure those accounts in Switzerland got steady infusions of cash, just in case, he tried NOT to think of later. And besides, with all the names he had in so many places, so many little caches tucked here and there, he would not be lacking in possible destinations. It was just that, now, unexpectedly, he'd formed bonds, tighter than he'd formed with anyone in many years. Somehow, thinking about a future for him, without also thinking about their futures? That seemed strange. And thinking about a future without the presence of Lynn Garrison, their Lieutenant's sister, that seemed just as strange. More than strange, really. She was hardly his type; he would hardly be hers. Still, he would miss hearing her voice, seeing that smile.

Resolutely he drew his mind back to the game:  
Granville - Mireille, the tiny one with black ringlets down to her knees  
Hyeres - Zelia, blond, with amber eyes  
Ivry-Sur-Sein - another blond, who, who . . .

He hoped he didn't have to start on Switzerland; he was so tired . . .

CRAIG: 

I sleep alone, usually in that bedroom down the hall from the dorm, and I am so tired of that. The guys are there, in the dorm; Actor, Casino, Chief, Goniff.

Goniff - when did he go from being a cheerful, bumbling, chattering, irritating but useful part of our team to being such a part of my life, my heart? At night when I lay in that bed, a real bed, not a cot like they have to sleep on, I feel guilty that I can rest in comfort like this, when they can't. I've tried to get the Ministry to open up extra bedrooms, but they, well, they think the dorm is just fine.

In a way I know it's good for the guys to be together; they help each other through nightmares, talk things through, but I hate treating them like they're less than I am, because they're not. I've worked with them long enough to know their strengths, their weaknesses, and they are good men, if admittedly larcenous ones, and I am proud to be working with them, proud of the job they, we are doing. It's hard, though, some nights, knowing my pickpocket is just down the hall; I wake and want him here, beside me, and fight to keep from making that trip, calling him to me. When we are on a mission, the lines aren't so firmly drawn; well, they can't be when we're trying to catch some sleep, at least one on guard, the rest in whatever makeshift spot we find. I hate them being in danger, but being together? Well, that feels good, feels right. I sometimes think about moving another cot into the dorm, joining them, but the Brass would probably have me up on charges, and they, the guys, might not like having me that close, and the temptation might be just too much for a peaceful night's sleep, but sometimes, I'd really like it.

Sometimes, now, I sleep at the Cottage. That's a new thing for me, something that still doesn't feel quite real. There I don't have to pretend I don't find my pickpocket, well, what words do I use? Endearing, enticing, exciting, commanding, alluring, desirable, the list could go on and on. There, in Meghada's wide bed, the one she moved in on purpose after the first few nights, the one allowing us all three to sleep in comfort, to share in comfort, there I don't have to pretend; there I can be with him, with him and her, in any way we want, without having to answer to anyone's idea of whether it's right or wrong.

I used to care about things like that more than I do now. Now, I've seen so much wrong, so many things for people to rightfully worry about, get upset about, that who someone is loving, that doesn't seem to be important anymore, not as long as the people involved are happy.

And I am; there, with him, her, them, I'm happy. For that short period of time inside those walls, I don't have to fight, the enemy, the brass, anyone, even myself; there, I have warmth, and love, and laughter and music, oh, and did I say love, well, that is worth repeating . There, they share with me, they care for me, they let me experience things, feelings, thoughts, I could never experience anywhere else, with anyone else. There, I'm not in charge, not in control; that thought, does anyone but the two of them know just how I need that, crave that? If I could choose where to sleep, for now, for always, it would be in that wide bed in that Cottage, with the two of them close beside me. If I could choose . . .

CASINO:

Damn! We need a break; I need a break. No, what I really need is a blonde! Maybe a brunette! Maybe a blonde AND a brunette. Maybe that'd take the pressure off. It's not so bad during the day; the Warden and the Sergeant Major keep us busy enough to keep our minds off stuff like that. But in the middle of the night, that's somethin else. 

Well, least here it's not like up at that castle in Scotland, the one Meghada's cousin lives at. Shit! I'd go outta my everlovin mind I had to put up with that every night! Bad enough knowing Goniff was gettin it on with Meghada a few rooms away; least they were far enough away, or maybe it was the walls were thick enough, we didn't hear everything.

Chief says they really get loud. Sheesh, those two! You'd think they'd both been saving up their whole lives, the way they go at it! Well, maybe they have, for something special like what they got anyway. I don't understand it, but there's no fakin it, not with them.

But that damned castle. Logan was right, what it was whisperin, all night long, better off not listening to any of it. Bad enough all it was asking, offering; but did it have to use HIS voice? Oh, not Logan's, but . . . No, it couldn't use Josie's voice, or maybe that little French piece I met last trip up to London; even that air-headed blonde that ended up in my bed when we ran that scam on Mancinelli. Hell, I'd've been better off if it used Mrs. Wilson's voice; least that would have scared me enough I could get some sleep. But that voice, all quiet and low? Didn't dare close my eyes for more than a few seconds at a time; didn't dare do anything else either to take the pressure off, not with the others there in the room, especially not with HIM there in the room. Shit! Why did I have to go thinking about that??! Now I'll never get the hell to sleep! Maybe I'll sneak out tomorrow night, see if Josie is up for a quick tumble. Something, anything . . .

 

MEGHADA: 

I sleep alone, much of the time. Where, well, for right now that's pretty well divided between my home, the Cottage, and wherever my mission has taken me. Sometimes that's a fancy hotel or resort, sometimes it's a cave in the mountains of Albania, a bunk on a submarine, who knows. I usually work alone, prefer it over working with a team. I've never found a team I fit with, other than Garrison's, and that's different; they are family now. The problem is, most likely, that I'm Dragon; I don't like to lead, I don't like to follow, I Fly alone, I fight alone. I always thought I was meant to be alone, remain alone. Most Dragon's do, other than the ties to the Clan and their birth family, of course. But, I'm getting off the subject, I see; I tend to do that a lot anymore. 

Anyway, when I'm not on a mission, I sleep at the Cottage. This is my safe place.

I bought the Cottage, really a nest of three cottages, enclosed by three strong, tall stone walls, backing onto a wooded area, back when I started working Contracts, when I was fourteen, to have a home base, not have to live in the city, crowded in by Outlanders; of course, to begin with, it was through a dummy name, but when I came of age, by the Outlander's laws, I had it switched so it is now all mine, Clan-registered and all. I have a large vegetable garden, a good reliable well, a big flower garden in front and a smaller one in the back, a well-stocked library, my piano, my guitars and harp; of course, with all the traveling, I don't have as much time to tend it as I would like, but I do the best I can, and will do better when the war ends, should I survive that long.

For the first time in many years, I really hope I do. Not that I hoped I WOULDN'T; it's just that, for awhile there, it just didn't seem to matter too much one way or the other. Now, with them, it does matter, matters that I have a place to share with them. Here I have my music, my books, my garden; here, I found love, no matter how trite that sounds.

The first cottage, the one by the back gate, that's the one I live in, where that wide bed of mine is. I used to have a smaller one, and I was quite comfortable, quite contented sleeping in it alone; but then HE came, my Englishman, my love, and for awhile we made do nicely enough; and then my love's other love came to join us, so we are often three, and while it made for some interesting and often amusing tangles, we actually DO need to get some sleep, so I moved that bed over to the third cottage and brought in a much wider one for us. Now, when we are all three together, it is much more comfortable.

Of course, when we are NOT together, when they are elsewhere, and I am alone, the bed seems very empty, as if it's waiting. I know I am, waiting, I mean. Because now I know that even a Dragon doesn't have to be alone, not if fate is kind. I am Bonded to him, my Englishman, there is no doubt about that. I am equally sure that he is Bonded to our Craig, and I'm starting to feel that tug that tells me we may have a Bond growing as well, he and I. Well, even if that doesn't happen, there is love, and that is enough. But I wish they were here, here so I wasn't waiting anymore. I find I really don't like sleeping alone, not anymore.


End file.
